beariot: art by hei yu (tomorrow may change or it may never come)
Pʀᴏꜰᴇssᴏʀ Uʀsᴜʟᴀ Cᴀʟʟɪsᴛɪs ([personal profile] beariot) wrote 2019-10-10 11:25 pm (UTC)

[ Chariot let out a breath, not so much a sigh, but just breath, life leaving her chest, cycling back in just as slowly, calming her own nerves as she leaned into Fang's touch, her own eyes sliding closed. ]

Because I've been the one to hold on to a truth like that, keep it inside and away from someone who deserved to know.

[ She shivered, those dark, inky black tendrils clutching around her, the beat of her heart weakening beneath it. ]

But that was because I was ashamed of it. I had so much guilt and disgrace tied up in that truth that I didn't think of holding it like keeping someone out, but keeping toxic nature of that truth from hurting others...

And at some point, I thought... I should tell her the truth. To tell her everything I'd kept from her. But I kept allowing circumstances to hold my tongue, to give me an excuse to remain silent.

In the end I just wound up hurting her. Because the person that truth pertained to the most needed to hear it, and hear it from me. And I was too weighed down by my own self-inflicted penance to realize it.

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