Easy now... you might burst if you keep gushing like that. [ A small chuckle, a squeeze of her hand. She really did hope that Monika got a chance to hold onto this happiness for a long time. She understood the reality was that there was always a chance that any of them could return to the mirrors at some point, but... it was important, at least in the moment, that they didn't dwell on it. ]
I do wish I could introduce you to those close to me back home. To Akko, or to Croix. [ She knew Akko would insist on being friends with Monika. ]
[ Monika's talk of how isolated she was in her world lead Chariot to wonder if those people would even care... But that was a certain bitterness on her part, she figured. ]
I'd be happy to meet anyone you'd call a friend, Monika.
[ Despite the situation, Chariot's interest is more than sincere. She wants to learn more about Monika, all she can, the good and the bad. She's her daughter, after all. ]
[The mere thought about it was making her anxiety creep up some more, with her heart beating faster and faster. She squeezed her mom's hand a bit more tightly, and though it helped to keep her calm, it did little to stop the slight trembling she was experiencing.]
Natsuri would usually put on a tough exterior, but deep down, she was sweet and fun as anyone I'd ever met. To her, the club was a safe place she could come to and be with friends. I'm happy I was able to give her that.
Then there's Yuri. She was heard to really get to know with how much time she spent reading her books. But I also think she was passionate and smart. Her poems were always so detailed and you could tell that she was enjoying herself.
And Sayori, she...
[Oh, god.]
I...
[She's trying not to cry, but it's a failing effort.]
I was so cruel to her. I wish I could just take back everything I did.
[ Chariot had a feeling things were going to start dissolving really quick after that first pause. That nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach, those instincts that she could really only say were maternal...
She was quick to close the distance between them, embracing Monika and letting her shed those tears. ]
Guilt... it's a deathly burden. It can feel suffocating at times...
[Chariot's unconditional love was a large contributor to the healing Monika had gone through. But the memories of what she did would never truly fade away, and she would have to live with that for the rest of her life.
And while she had made her peace with that, some days were just tough than others.]
These are... difficult questions to answer. And I'm not sure I have any for you. I've asked them of myself quite a bit.
[ She still did. She still carried it with her, a constant hook in her heart that drug it down whenever she allowed her thoughts to dwell on it. Akko had forgiven her, in her case, but that struggle with whether or not she deserved it, whether or not she could forgive herself, was something... only time would be able to discern. ]
We can't ever really know until more time has passed...
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I do wish I could introduce you to those close to me back home. To Akko, or to Croix. [ She knew Akko would insist on being friends with Monika. ]
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I'd love to meet them, someday.
[While at times still trying to get a handle on her jealousy, if they were important to Chariot, then they had to be good people.
She trusted her mom.]
I, um...
If a-anyone from where I was from makes it here, I'd be, um, happy to introduce you...!
[Monika, on the other hand, was far less confident about that possibility.]
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I'd be happy to meet anyone you'd call a friend, Monika.
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[Were they her friends? Monika's feelings towards them was... complicated, to say the least. There was bitterness, regret, and more.]
We were... a small group. We'd meet after class and discuss literature, and poetry.
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[Everything is fine.]
I wanted something I could call my own. A place where me and my friends could discuss and share our favorite books.
But really, I think it just became a place where we would just hang out after class.
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[ Despite the situation, Chariot's interest is more than sincere. She wants to learn more about Monika, all she can, the good and the bad. She's her daughter, after all. ]
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Natsuri would usually put on a tough exterior, but deep down, she was sweet and fun as anyone I'd ever met. To her, the club was a safe place she could come to and be with friends. I'm happy I was able to give her that.
Then there's Yuri. She was heard to really get to know with how much time she spent reading her books. But I also think she was passionate and smart. Her poems were always so detailed and you could tell that she was enjoying herself.
And Sayori, she...
[Oh, god.]
I...
[She's trying not to cry, but it's a failing effort.]
I was so cruel to her. I wish I could just take back everything I did.
[No one should have to go through that.]
I wish I could tell her how sorry I am.
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She was quick to close the distance between them, embracing Monika and letting her shed those tears. ]
Guilt... it's a deathly burden. It can feel suffocating at times...
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And while she had made her peace with that, some days were just tough than others.]
Sometimes I wonder, if they ever make it here...
Would they forgive me?
Do I even deserve to be forgiven?
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[ She still did. She still carried it with her, a constant hook in her heart that drug it down whenever she allowed her thoughts to dwell on it. Akko had forgiven her, in her case, but that struggle with whether or not she deserved it, whether or not she could forgive herself, was something... only time would be able to discern. ]
We can't ever really know until more time has passed...