[Kaede sighed through her nose, some of the tension relaxing out of her shoulders. It was a small thing, in the scope of things. But it was important to her.
Which led to the next thing. The Bond question, again.
The Chimera stilled, and didn't answer for several long moments. She drew in a breath, and let it go again.]
...yes. I'll do it.
[She ought to. She needed to, or the growling voice would overtake her mind--if not this Moonrise, then surely the next. And as wary as Kaede was of tying her fractured, stunted soul to another person, she feared losing herself and all that she was to a Voice more.]
How soon would you prefer? I'm not aiming to rush you into anything. We can take all the time you need. [ Ursula raised a hand to gently pet the back of her neck, taking care to keep her touch as tender as she could manage. ]
[When Ursula touched her, so close to her head, Kaede twitched. The feathers in her hair fluffed up under the Witch's hand--they were still quite soft, and became softer the further down Ursula's fingertips went.
After a few moments of...nothing happening, the Chimera mumbled to herself--and pulled the Witch closer, tightening her grip. Just to make sure Ursula wasn't trying anything.]
...I think I can stay here. No, I--should. For now.
[It was calm and quiet here--with few to zero targets to fixate on. Crossing the city, however briefly, would present a whole host of distractions. Being able to hold Ursula so close had cleared her mind, but she didn't know how long that clarity would last once she let go.]
We'll meet at the Coven first thing in the morning...
... Unless you'd like me to stay the night with you. [ She hadn't considered it, at first. But Fang was out in the wilderness, and she had to admit, she'd been feeling a little lonely herself. Kaede seemed desperate for something to calm her, and she didn't want her using sedatives unless it was an emergency... ]
[Kaede blinked, lifting her head up from Ursula's shoulder. She glanced at the house--unnecessarily, it was more than big enough. Maria was out or preoccupied and Giorno hadn't troubled her since the first time they'd met. There were plenty of rooms to stay in without seeing either of them.]
You would...you would do that?
[But, more than that, just the thought led back to all the others before. That someone was willing to answer her. That someone was kind to her, the monstrous Kaede. Someone who admittedly didn't know what she was, and...who Kaede didn't want to tell. Ursula might leave, then. She might recoil, refuse to have anything to do with her.
And as briefly as Kaede had known the Witch, she already didn't want her to leave.]
[ Ursula nodded, still petting the back of Kaede's neck. It was true, she didn't know the full extent for Kaede's reasons for isolating herself, but the reasons she DID know she knew she could help with. She knew Kaede didn't want to hurt anyone, that she wanted to be better, and could be. She knew that Kaede had a sweetness to her, in moments like this, that clung to the warmth in the darkness... Ursula's heart had room within it for someone like that. It always would. ]
[The feathers there fluffed under Ursula's fingers, and Kaede let out a sigh she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Maybe this would still end in misery, in misunderstandings left to fester too long.
Kaede didn't want to think about that anymore, or much of anything. There was someone here to soothe the cold ache in her chest and quiet the jittery, angry animal thoughts in her mind. That was all. That was everything. Even if she still didn't think she deserved such things.
Gently, Kaede nudged the Witch towards the house.]
Until morning... [ Ursula hummed, pausing a moment before chuckling. ] Though I didn't exactly come prepared for an overnight stay. So I apologize if I have morning breath.
[Kaede blinked--and made a noise that sounded somewhere between a huff and a fussy bird's chitter. Some of her feathers puffed up a bit more, to complete the picture.]
[The Chimera let go most of the way, loosening her claws from Ursula's shirt and back so she didn't snag something when she twitched and ruffled her feathers. They stayed fluffed up for a few moments before smoothing down.]
If I'm going to attach part of my soul to someone I'd hope that sort of thing wouldn't bother me.
[Saying it aloud made it seem all the more concrete and real. Kaede's voice drifted off at the end, and her tail flicked back and forth.]
[ Once within the mansion, Ursula couldn't not notice how big and empty it all felt. Compared to where she was living, this was practically a cave. And as much as it seemed strangely fitting of Kaede's gloomy personality, it couldn't have helped her loneliness... Ursula's much more cozy place likely would take some getting used to, though. ]
This place must get really drafty in the winter...
[There were still many rooms with dust and full-on cobwebs, some of the furniture still wrapped in storage covers. A lot of things creaked and shifted, and even more of them cast flickering shadows that made Kaede's ears twitch at sounds that weren't there.
But this was what she'd started to consider home, these lonely dusty halls.]
Haven't been here long enough for that.
[A tail flick.]
Guess it wasn't so nice when all that snow was around though.
Well... [ Ursula hummed as they made their way to Kaede's room. ]
If it ever gets that cold, I'm sure my place will feel warmer, if only for how small it is, if you ever want to spend the night there. I'm okay with you living wherever you feel comfortable.
[Kaede's room wasn't too far in; it was one of the smaller guest rooms, still fairly sparsely decorated. She didn't tend to collect things very much, and her approach to tidiness was present but casual. The bed wasn't made, and the armchair and couch didn't match--like they'd been dragged in from other rooms. Her desk had a few disparate borrowed books and scraps of paper on it, some round pebbles--and several empty medicine bottles.
But it was free of the dust, for the most part. More than a few soft curls of down feather scattered on the floor, though.]
I'll...need to come visit you a lot, anyway. Won't I.
[Her voice seemed uncertain and hesitated at the end--the same way she hesitated at the doorway.]
I'm not sure those are the words I'd use, but you'll be welcome any time you feel a need to be there, all the same. [ Ursula hummed, waiting for Kaede to step into the room first. She felt like she was learning more and more about Kaede from this place, particularly the way the room had been arranged. She was fairly eager to see just what sort of books she'd been reading. ]
[...oh. Kaede unfroze from her spot at the door to venture in, and tugged the Witch after her before letting go, in case Ursula noticed the warm and jittery feeling that kind of invitation put in her chest. The Chimera didn't pay much mind to the books on her desk, making for the couch instead.
The books were mostly on gardening subjects--one had a scrap of paper stuck in the chapter about lilies. Another book was about caring for birds--still open, in fact, to a section on molting feathers. Kaede hadn't exactly been expecting visitors.]
There are other rooms you could stay in.
[In the time it took to let go of Ursula's wrist and walk to the couch, though, Kaede had felt agitated thoughts return to her. What was she doing, letting someone into her house, in her room? She should--
The Chimera shook her antlered head, and resisted the urge to just double back across the room to latch onto Ursula again.]
[ Kaede may have been the reticent sort, but her body language was simple enough for Ursula to read. She had to get used to things like that as a teacher, and she found herself using those sociological skills in this world more often than she thought she would. Kaede's longing was obvious... ]
I'm fine staying here with you. I don't mind sharing a bed if that's what you want, too. Anything to help you feel calm and at peace.
[Kaede came to a stop in front of the couch that was a bit more abrupt than she meant.]
--uh.
[That caught her a bit off guard. Though, yes. She wanted to think on her own terms again. She didn't want Ursula to just leave, but sharing a bed with her seemed a lot right now. The Chimera scratched at the back of her head, still facing away.]
You don't...need to do that much.
[There was a non-zero chance of Kaede gravitating towards the source of warmth in the room later on, though.]
[ She definitely didn't want to put any pressure on Kaede. This was awkward enough of a situation without that added on top. But she also had a better grasp, and more comfort in general, with how the whole situation would inevitably play out. At least with Kaede, she wasn't seeing so many shades of a familiar face within her. It was easier to put some distance there, even with the intimacy, and think of Kaede more like a troubled student than anything like Fang. ]
Are there any pre-sleep rituals I should know about?
[Kaede's tail flicked one more time before finally going still, and she glanced back at Ursula. Her posture was still stiff and awkward.]
No. I just...sleep when I'm tired. [A creak from somewhere else in the house made the Chimera twitch, and mutter to herself.] Haven't been doing much of that.
[She was already much less jumpy than she had been, though. Awkwardness about sleeping arrangements aside. The sharp edges of the gnawing hunger in her mind had been worn smooth, and relaxing enough to sleep actually felt possible now. It would be gone by morning, but...well, there was something else in store then.]
If that's the case, then... [ Ursula let out a sigh, finally pulling her hat off and setting it on the corner of the offered cough, removing the clasp that held her robe over her collar as well, making work of the closures to shrug the whole garment up and off of her shoulders. Beneath, in what probably revealed a lot about Ursula's approach to fashion, was a tight-fitting top and pair of trousers that, while visually not that interesting, allowed for plenty of comfort of movement. The sort of clothes someone might wear to the gym, more than day to day. ]
[This is the girl who'd go out in public in pajamas and clothes taken out of other people's closets or laundry baskets with no regard to color coordination, she isn't the best judge of fashion sense.
Kaede did look, though, after she crossed to the dresser. Ursula seemed to favor practical clothes, she noted--something that would be comfortable to run away from a feral Chimera in, she also noted. But she hadn't, and hadn't needed to.]
Did you know you didn't need to run?
[The Witch getting ready for sleep reinforced that Kaede should do the same, even if she doubted she'd be able to stay that way. Getting off her own clothes was a bit of a process, now. Her arms made sleeved shirts difficult, her antlers complicated anything pulled on over her head, and her claws made delicate closures an annoyance. She'd been able to get a light shawl to cover up how clumsily (irritably) she'd put on a buttoned vest, with a light shirt under that. The clothes Kaede tended to choose were quietly influenced by the other, taller resident in the house. The skirt was her own, though--and while she wasn't going to take that off while someone was here, the Chimera set the shawl and vest on the basket beside the dresser. She should get those cleaned soon--they were flecked with reddish-pink feathers and a bit of soot.]
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Which led to the next thing. The Bond question, again.
The Chimera stilled, and didn't answer for several long moments. She drew in a breath, and let it go again.]
...yes. I'll do it.
[She ought to. She needed to, or the growling voice would overtake her mind--if not this Moonrise, then surely the next. And as wary as Kaede was of tying her fractured, stunted soul to another person, she feared losing herself and all that she was to a Voice more.]
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After a few moments of...nothing happening, the Chimera mumbled to herself--and pulled the Witch closer, tightening her grip. Just to make sure Ursula wasn't trying anything.]
...sooner than later.
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[ She wasn't above inviting Kaede into her apartment, regardless of bond status. ]
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[It was calm and quiet here--with few to zero targets to fixate on. Crossing the city, however briefly, would present a whole host of distractions. Being able to hold Ursula so close had cleared her mind, but she didn't know how long that clarity would last once she let go.]
I still have some of the sedatives left.
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... Unless you'd like me to stay the night with you. [ She hadn't considered it, at first. But Fang was out in the wilderness, and she had to admit, she'd been feeling a little lonely herself. Kaede seemed desperate for something to calm her, and she didn't want her using sedatives unless it was an emergency... ]
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You would...you would do that?
[But, more than that, just the thought led back to all the others before. That someone was willing to answer her. That someone was kind to her, the monstrous Kaede. Someone who admittedly didn't know what she was, and...who Kaede didn't want to tell. Ursula might leave, then. She might recoil, refuse to have anything to do with her.
And as briefly as Kaede had known the Witch, she already didn't want her to leave.]
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For as long as you need me to...
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Kaede didn't want to think about that anymore, or much of anything. There was someone here to soothe the cold ache in her chest and quiet the jittery, angry animal thoughts in her mind. That was all. That was everything. Even if she still didn't think she deserved such things.
Gently, Kaede nudged the Witch towards the house.]
...until morning, then.
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I'm not worried about that.
[There it was, some of Kaede's usual self.]
There are other things you can use in the house.
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[The Chimera let go most of the way, loosening her claws from Ursula's shirt and back so she didn't snag something when she twitched and ruffled her feathers. They stayed fluffed up for a few moments before smoothing down.]
If I'm going to attach part of my soul to someone I'd hope that sort of thing wouldn't bother me.
[Saying it aloud made it seem all the more concrete and real. Kaede's voice drifted off at the end, and her tail flicked back and forth.]
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This place must get really drafty in the winter...
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But this was what she'd started to consider home, these lonely dusty halls.]
Haven't been here long enough for that.
[A tail flick.]
Guess it wasn't so nice when all that snow was around though.
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If it ever gets that cold, I'm sure my place will feel warmer, if only for how small it is, if you ever want to spend the night there. I'm okay with you living wherever you feel comfortable.
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But it was free of the dust, for the most part. More than a few soft curls of down feather scattered on the floor, though.]
I'll...need to come visit you a lot, anyway. Won't I.
[Her voice seemed uncertain and hesitated at the end--the same way she hesitated at the doorway.]
Like a stray cat coming up to the window.
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The books were mostly on gardening subjects--one had a scrap of paper stuck in the chapter about lilies. Another book was about caring for birds--still open, in fact, to a section on molting feathers. Kaede hadn't exactly been expecting visitors.]
There are other rooms you could stay in.
[In the time it took to let go of Ursula's wrist and walk to the couch, though, Kaede had felt agitated thoughts return to her. What was she doing, letting someone into her house, in her room? She should--
The Chimera shook her antlered head, and resisted the urge to just double back across the room to latch onto Ursula again.]
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I'm fine staying here with you. I don't mind sharing a bed if that's what you want, too. Anything to help you feel calm and at peace.
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--uh.
[That caught her a bit off guard. Though, yes. She wanted to think on her own terms again. She didn't want Ursula to just leave, but sharing a bed with her seemed a lot right now. The Chimera scratched at the back of her head, still facing away.]
You don't...need to do that much.
[There was a non-zero chance of Kaede gravitating towards the source of warmth in the room later on, though.]
Is the couch okay?
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[ She definitely didn't want to put any pressure on Kaede. This was awkward enough of a situation without that added on top. But she also had a better grasp, and more comfort in general, with how the whole situation would inevitably play out. At least with Kaede, she wasn't seeing so many shades of a familiar face within her. It was easier to put some distance there, even with the intimacy, and think of Kaede more like a troubled student than anything like Fang. ]
Are there any pre-sleep rituals I should know about?
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No. I just...sleep when I'm tired. [A creak from somewhere else in the house made the Chimera twitch, and mutter to herself.] Haven't been doing much of that.
[She was already much less jumpy than she had been, though. Awkwardness about sleeping arrangements aside. The sharp edges of the gnawing hunger in her mind had been worn smooth, and relaxing enough to sleep actually felt possible now. It would be gone by morning, but...well, there was something else in store then.]
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Kaede did look, though, after she crossed to the dresser. Ursula seemed to favor practical clothes, she noted--something that would be comfortable to run away from a feral Chimera in, she also noted. But she hadn't, and hadn't needed to.]
Did you know you didn't need to run?
[The Witch getting ready for sleep reinforced that Kaede should do the same, even if she doubted she'd be able to stay that way. Getting off her own clothes was a bit of a process, now. Her arms made sleeved shirts difficult, her antlers complicated anything pulled on over her head, and her claws made delicate closures an annoyance. She'd been able to get a light shawl to cover up how clumsily (irritably) she'd put on a buttoned vest, with a light shirt under that. The clothes Kaede tended to choose were quietly influenced by the other, taller resident in the house. The skirt was her own, though--and while she wasn't going to take that off while someone was here, the Chimera set the shawl and vest on the basket beside the dresser. She should get those cleaned soon--they were flecked with reddish-pink feathers and a bit of soot.]
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