[Kaede had waited, until the morning light broke through the clouds and the rain of last night was a faint memory in the gutters. The rest of the night...wasn't so easily forgotten. She'd waited on the rooftop, a small curl of shadow, until the coming dawn burned away the shadows and made it difficult to hide.
After she and Fang had parted, the Chimera had gone back to the gloomy ghost-ridden mansion. She'd dried herself off, changed to dry clothes, and assuaged the gnawing hunger for mana--leaving her mind clear, to better see her regrets, to feel the rippling waves of Chariot's worry. Kaede had slept little the rest of the night, even when her usually aloof petalwolf had sleepily come to curl up against her back.
The storms had stopped during the night, and left her with no further excuses for her not to go. What if Fang was still there? Kaede couldn't--she wasn't ready, to talk to her yet. If Fang even wanted to talk to her anymore. Did Chariot want to see her, after she'd hurt her Bonded? The fussing concern gnawing at her mind was its own answer.
She was just stalling now. The Chimera slid off of the roof, lofting down with now dry wings to the balcony with Chariot's telescope. Her landing was quiet, but still jostled her aching ribs. Kaede took in a deep breath--winced, at the stab of the bruises there, and braced herself.
The Monster didn't open the door; she knocked first. She was reasonably sure the Turnskin was out right now, but in case she wasn't...]
...Chariot?
[The Chimera's voice was uncharacteristically tentative.
In comparison to Fang, Kaede seemed almost uninjured. The only outward sign was that the rearmost point of an antler was missing, the fracture an uneven break rather than a clean cut.
[ Kaede, as bad as she could be, had a broader support network than just Chariot. She had other Bonds, she had Maria and that lad Giorno. People Chariot could trust to take care of her. But given the specific happening, Kaede could still feel the throngs of Chariot's anxiety and worry throughout the time between Chariot realizing what was happening and this very moment.
A moment that was punctuated by the door opening and Chariot immediately grabbing Kaede, pulling her into her embrace, and tears welling up again after she'd thought she'd finished all of them, against her shoulder.
At least she remembered not to drop her cane in the process this time. ]
[The answer was instantaneous. Scarcely had Kaede's knuckles pulled away from the door than it opened, and Chariot--all of her, the physical and the more than that--rushed out to meet her. Kaede made a startled noise between a sharp inhale and a squeak, ears twitching backwards. But there was--nothing to run from, that stupid Monster brain of hers be damned.]
--ah.
[It didn't take Kaede long to defrost. The moment she felt Chariot's energy, wan and thin as it still was rush into her, felt the Witch's tears hit her shoulder, the Chimera's arms sprang into action. They coiled tightly around Chariot's back, pressing the other woman as closely as she was holding Kaede, like the Witch was some fleeting bit of warmth that might vanish if not held tightly enough.]
I'm...
[I'm sorry. The words were trapped by the sudden tightness in her throat, struggling to make it past the obstruction just when she needed to say them most. Chariot could feel them, she knew, just like Kaede could feel her. But she wanted the Witch to hear them. It was the least she could do.]
I know... [ Chariot whispered, strained against her own tears. She didn't have to hear the apology from Kaede. She could feel it. And she didn't at all let resentment linger within her. Fang and Kaede, they'd been hurting. They were carrying pain, same as she was, the scars of what had been done to them all. And yes, lashing out at each other was far from what Chariot wanted for them, but she couldn't just hold on to anger there.
What she wanted to do, more than anything, was to comfort them. She needed them. She couldn't imagine facing what she had to without either of them. And maybe that itself wasn't the healthiest way of looking at things, but in that moment, she didn't want to help it. All she wanted was to hold Kaede in her arms and know she was going to be okay now. She was Home... ]
[It felt like a monumental effort, just to say the words. The anguish she could hear, could feel, in Chariot's voice tore at Kaede more than a grievous physical injury, and she despised herself all the more for causing it.
She swallowed, doing nothing to fend off the coming grief looming on the horizon of her next thought.]
I'm...sorry.
[Kaede's voice was a quiet, strained thing, whispered close to her Bonded's ear.]
For what I did. I...have no excuse. [The words, once pent up behind her teeth, were suddenly difficult to stop.] I...struck first, I...
[ She wasn't frustrated, she just knew the deluge of words wouldn't stop if she didn't put an end to it herself. It served neither of them, to have Kaede apologize and apologize. She knew she was sorry. She could feel her guilt. She didn't need any more. All Chariot wanted to do in that moment was comfort her, to show she still loved her, that while she wasn't happy with what Kaede did, it wasn't going to make her resent the girl at all. ]
[At first, at the rebuke, Kaede flinched. Her eyes squeezed shut, her ears pinned back, and the endless torrent of words stopped.
But no further correction came. The expected resentment didn't materialize. The anxious tension in Kaede's end of the Bond froze, like a startled deer. It didn't vanish, but it stopped working itself up into a frenzy, too. The Chimera's shoulders shivered, a motion she couldn't suppress.]
...I'm. [What was she supposed to say here? There was no anger in Chariot's mind, in the Bond--nothing she could struggle against and feel at all justified in. Another apology hovered at the tip of her tongue. She'd never apologized so much in her life, and now she couldn't stop making them--right when they didn't matter.
Chariot wasn't angry. She wasn't resentful. She worried, oh she worried. But the comfort of her embrace was still there, the warmth that soothed away the worries in Kaede's mind--she just had to be here. Gaze into Chariot's endless patience, and see that there really wasn't a bottom to it.]
[ Anything else that needed to be said could be said in there. In that moment, she had no desire to expose either of them to the world outside their apartment, outside of their Home together. She had plenty of ways to show Kaede she'd forgiven her, but not a one of them deserved the possibility of any other eyes, any one else's understandings or judgements. ]
[ Once inside, Chariot was quick to grab a warm blanket to drape about Kaede, pulling her with her to the soda, leaving her cane aside and just wanting to snuggle up with her, to cuddle and assure her that, yes, mistakes were made but she was still here for Kaede, and wasn't going to push her away over this. She didn't need to interrogate or withold anything to know Kaede's guilt. She could feel it keenly, and in this moment, Chariot wanted Kaede to feel just as keenly her forgiveness. ]
Kaede made a little stifled sound at first, like a startled bird's whistling when the blanket draped over her shoulders. But the warmth sunk in soon after, like a shield against the cold guilt gnawing at her mind. Kaede followed her Bonded quietly, holding the blanket close. She didn't make any more noise; just sat and found herself leaning against Chariot without a thought, pressing against her warm side, nuzzling her face against the other woman's neck.
Forgiveness wasn't something Kaede ever expected to feel, and this time, her protests were thin and distant things easily chased away. Something in her chest felt all wobbly and soft edged, and the Chimera's tail came up to curl around them both. She'd been keeping herself away from this, for...for what? As penance? Until she apologized?]
I'm...sorry. [She whispered again.] For...for taking so long. But I'm here now.
There will always be a place for you in my heart, Kaede... [ Chariot hummed, nuzzling right back, pressing small kisses to Kaede's temple, just surrounding her in her love, wrapping her within it like a blanket to join the literal one, envelop her in the idea of this being a place she belonged within. ]
We're both going to make mistakes... that's part of being in love.
[The Chimera started to melt under all this attention, feathers softly ruffling up and the stiffness leaving her shoulders with each kiss. Her next exhale had more than a bit of a contented rumble in it.]
I...hope my next one isn't so bad.
[Like picking a strange choice of flowers, or a tea she ended up not liking. Simple things. Simple mistakes. Not ones that ended in the slickness of blood and the misery of regret.]
Whatever it is... I will always endeavor to hear you out, and understand you.
[ That much she could say assuredly. It was part of her vows, after all, to hold through the storms that came with knowing someone like Kaede, and being a refuge for her heart.
And be a good snuggle partner when it was needed, too. A few more kisses and she nuzzled in close, just breathing in Kaede's scent and letting her eyes close... ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
3/4, morning
After she and Fang had parted, the Chimera had gone back to the gloomy ghost-ridden mansion. She'd dried herself off, changed to dry clothes, and assuaged the gnawing hunger for mana--leaving her mind clear, to better see her regrets, to feel the rippling waves of Chariot's worry. Kaede had slept little the rest of the night, even when her usually aloof petalwolf had sleepily come to curl up against her back.
The storms had stopped during the night, and left her with no further excuses for her not to go. What if Fang was still there? Kaede couldn't--she wasn't ready, to talk to her yet. If Fang even wanted to talk to her anymore. Did Chariot want to see her, after she'd hurt her Bonded? The fussing concern gnawing at her mind was its own answer.
She was just stalling now. The Chimera slid off of the roof, lofting down with now dry wings to the balcony with Chariot's telescope. Her landing was quiet, but still jostled her aching ribs. Kaede took in a deep breath--winced, at the stab of the bruises there, and braced herself.
The Monster didn't open the door; she knocked first. She was reasonably sure the Turnskin was out right now, but in case she wasn't...]
...Chariot?
[The Chimera's voice was uncharacteristically tentative.
In comparison to Fang, Kaede seemed almost uninjured. The only outward sign was that the rearmost point of an antler was missing, the fracture an uneven break rather than a clean cut.
Her thoughts was where the tangled mess lay.]
no subject
A moment that was punctuated by the door opening and Chariot immediately grabbing Kaede, pulling her into her embrace, and tears welling up again after she'd thought she'd finished all of them, against her shoulder.
At least she remembered not to drop her cane in the process this time. ]
no subject
--ah.
[It didn't take Kaede long to defrost. The moment she felt Chariot's energy, wan and thin as it still was rush into her, felt the Witch's tears hit her shoulder, the Chimera's arms sprang into action. They coiled tightly around Chariot's back, pressing the other woman as closely as she was holding Kaede, like the Witch was some fleeting bit of warmth that might vanish if not held tightly enough.]
I'm...
[I'm sorry. The words were trapped by the sudden tightness in her throat, struggling to make it past the obstruction just when she needed to say them most. Chariot could feel them, she knew, just like Kaede could feel her. But she wanted the Witch to hear them. It was the least she could do.]
no subject
What she wanted to do, more than anything, was to comfort them. She needed them. She couldn't imagine facing what she had to without either of them. And maybe that itself wasn't the healthiest way of looking at things, but in that moment, she didn't want to help it. All she wanted was to hold Kaede in her arms and know she was going to be okay now. She was Home... ]
no subject
She swallowed, doing nothing to fend off the coming grief looming on the horizon of her next thought.]
I'm...sorry.
[Kaede's voice was a quiet, strained thing, whispered close to her Bonded's ear.]
For what I did. I...have no excuse. [The words, once pent up behind her teeth, were suddenly difficult to stop.] I...struck first, I...
no subject
[ She wasn't frustrated, she just knew the deluge of words wouldn't stop if she didn't put an end to it herself. It served neither of them, to have Kaede apologize and apologize. She knew she was sorry. She could feel her guilt. She didn't need any more. All Chariot wanted to do in that moment was comfort her, to show she still loved her, that while she wasn't happy with what Kaede did, it wasn't going to make her resent the girl at all. ]
You are both carrying so much...
no subject
But no further correction came. The expected resentment didn't materialize. The anxious tension in Kaede's end of the Bond froze, like a startled deer. It didn't vanish, but it stopped working itself up into a frenzy, too. The Chimera's shoulders shivered, a motion she couldn't suppress.]
...I'm. [What was she supposed to say here? There was no anger in Chariot's mind, in the Bond--nothing she could struggle against and feel at all justified in. Another apology hovered at the tip of her tongue. She'd never apologized so much in her life, and now she couldn't stop making them--right when they didn't matter.
Chariot wasn't angry. She wasn't resentful. She worried, oh she worried. But the comfort of her embrace was still there, the warmth that soothed away the worries in Kaede's mind--she just had to be here. Gaze into Chariot's endless patience, and see that there really wasn't a bottom to it.]
no subject
[ Anything else that needed to be said could be said in there. In that moment, she had no desire to expose either of them to the world outside their apartment, outside of their Home together. She had plenty of ways to show Kaede she'd forgiven her, but not a one of them deserved the possibility of any other eyes, any one else's understandings or judgements. ]
no subject
...yes. Of course.
[The feathers on the Chimera's back bristled up and out, like she could repel any eyes that looked their way like that.]
no subject
no subject
Kaede made a little stifled sound at first, like a startled bird's whistling when the blanket draped over her shoulders. But the warmth sunk in soon after, like a shield against the cold guilt gnawing at her mind. Kaede followed her Bonded quietly, holding the blanket close. She didn't make any more noise; just sat and found herself leaning against Chariot without a thought, pressing against her warm side, nuzzling her face against the other woman's neck.
Forgiveness wasn't something Kaede ever expected to feel, and this time, her protests were thin and distant things easily chased away. Something in her chest felt all wobbly and soft edged, and the Chimera's tail came up to curl around them both. She'd been keeping herself away from this, for...for what? As penance? Until she apologized?]
I'm...sorry. [She whispered again.] For...for taking so long. But I'm here now.
[And relief was something she could share.]
no subject
We're both going to make mistakes... that's part of being in love.
no subject
I...hope my next one isn't so bad.
[Like picking a strange choice of flowers, or a tea she ended up not liking. Simple things. Simple mistakes. Not ones that ended in the slickness of blood and the misery of regret.]
no subject
[ That much she could say assuredly. It was part of her vows, after all, to hold through the storms that came with knowing someone like Kaede, and being a refuge for her heart.
And be a good snuggle partner when it was needed, too. A few more kisses and she nuzzled in close, just breathing in Kaede's scent and letting her eyes close... ]