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Pʀᴏꜰᴇssᴏʀ Uʀsᴜʟᴀ Cᴀʟʟɪsᴛɪs ([personal profile] beariot) wrote2019-05-31 11:14 pm
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beariot: art by haruyama kazunori (can't you trip like i do)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-10 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
I don't handle awkward situations well! You know this!
belligerentwarrior: (This'll be fun)

[personal profile] belligerentwarrior 2020-02-10 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
i take it this one's gonna be rated a 10/10 on the awkward scale then?

[Calling back to a conversation nearly a year ago...]
beariot: (I can't light no more of your darkness)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-10 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
Possibly. I had to take something for it. I feel a little better now.

I don't want them to worry so much about me, on top of everything else, but

I know it's just my own irrational anxiousness getting the best of me.
belligerentwarrior: (Beautiful aren't they?)

[personal profile] belligerentwarrior 2020-02-11 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
[Concern flickers through the Bond at the mention of needing to take something for it.]

well? how'd they take it? anything world shattering happen like your anxiety said it would?
beariot: art by niina ryou (the situation is fluid)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-11 07:38 am (UTC)(link)
Well. No.

Akko freaked out a little, but Diana took it very maturely, even if she didn't really seem to understand.

I must seem really stupid for getting so worked up over this.
belligerentwarrior: (That's a good girl)

[personal profile] belligerentwarrior 2020-02-11 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
you seem like you worry too much, that's what.

for someone so great at getting others to believe, you really ought to believe more in the people that care for you, you know? i get worry's part of who you are and all but they care about you for a reason. something so little's not gonna make that go away
beariot: art by hachimitsukyuuto (but i have no wings and the sky is so hi)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-12 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
It just doesn't seem little to me. I really wish I could feel half as relaxed about all of this as you and the others do.
belligerentwarrior: (Thought there'd be more than flowers)

[personal profile] belligerentwarrior 2020-02-13 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
wish i knew what to tell you. i'm not the one that's good with words.

why isn't it little then?
beariot: (bird has flown)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-15 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
Well it's not exactly normal, you know.
belligerentwarrior: (Took you long enough)

[personal profile] belligerentwarrior 2020-02-15 08:27 am (UTC)(link)
half my body's covered in fur and i was born 1600 years ago, and you're a celebrity in hiding

this passed normal long time ago
beariot: (I can't light no more of your darkness)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-16 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
That's not what I mean!

It's not something I have any context for on how to handle, okay? All of this is new to me, all of it is frightening, because I care about all of you and sometimes I feel like I'm going to ruin it somehow!
beariot: (lost in thoughts on open seas)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-17 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not as simple as just being told that.
belligerentwarrior: (Don't need to be told twice.)

[personal profile] belligerentwarrior 2020-02-18 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
[A crestfallen feeling. ]

you think i don't know that? [It wasn't that simple with Vanille, either.] what else should i do, keep my mouth shut when you start talking about yourself like that? i'm gonna keep saying it. as many times as i need to. doesn't matter if you feel it or not that's what i believe.

look i know i'm not akko or sunshine but i've got the same faith in you as youve got in me.
beariot: art by vento (want to break the spell that you've crea)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-19 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ ... ]

I know. I'm sorry. This is just how I am. I'm trying to be better.
belligerentwarrior: (Every trace of color...)

[personal profile] belligerentwarrior 2020-02-21 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
[A flicker of irritation that's immediately rebuked by a much stronger remorse.]

so am i. want to help but i know i can be a brute about things sometimes. if i'm ever not helping, promise to tell me, k?

[And then there's that fond surge of warmth that always accompanied the words "I love you."]
beariot: (just the ability to reason that wears so)

[personal profile] beariot 2020-02-23 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ That warmth... everything about it, she cherished. And she really did want to be better.

She didn't want her anxiety to rule her life. And she knew Fang knew that. ]

I love you.
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