I know it's difficult. I want to make sure you have time. It's a lot of information to process and I won't force you.
But I would feel a little uncomfortable coming over to make out with you more if she doesn't know about it.
[they sit there thinking through what they'd just said, and with the phone-dropping urgency know only to several breeds of anime protagonist, they hastily type out a correction.]
Um, that is. About us. Not specifically about what we do together.
[ Well that... certainly broke the tension. It was even enough that the idea of Levi coming over while Croix was living with her, something she still hadn't told Levi about, was glossed over entirely and now all she could really think about was... ]
Is that what's on your mind right now? I think we could both use a little stress relief.
[the tips of their ears go red hot. that is kind of the implication of what they said, isn't it.]
It isn't... not on my mind. But that might be because there's a lot of things happening very quickly right now and it isn't doing fantastic things for my anxiety. And being near you helps me calm down better than anything else around here has.
[ Certainly, she was doing it because she wanted the privacy her own apartment couldn't afford her, any longer, but it wasn't just being done to avoid the topic of Croix or the reality of her living with Chariot.
She also just... really wanted that privacy. ]
I can bring some wine, and we can relax together. However we like.
[they look around, and there's not much cleaning that actually needs to be done, which is merciful because they're both working with the same amount of space for the moment.]
You're going to be a bad influence on me, Chariot. Getting me to drink wine so regularly.
[it's while they're waiting for chariot to arrive that they receive a request that they hadn't been expecting. it's enough that when the woman they're waiting on does get there, it takes them a moment just to answer the door. (they're in as casual an outfit as they get, the ribbed black shirt and torn jeans, and they've configured their small apartment to look very similar to chariot's.) they're looking down at their phone when they open the door, and only look up after another moment to greet her with a smile.]
My Chariot, you must have the most incredible sense of timing in the world.
[ Chariot, for her part, chose to wear something... at least a little cuter. A nice, flowy, blouse, some leggings. The sort of thing she'd wear on a date if she ever went on any prior to Leviathan storming into her life like a literal lightning bolt. Not that she had any idea what she was doing, but it felt mostly right... Honestly, Croix had been buried in computer repair, so it wasn't like she could ask her. There were a lot more reasons she couldn't.
Either way, she took in a breath, her smile warming, adjusting her bag over her shoulder and just... ]
Is it good timing or just serendipity? Or maybe the stars...
[that was one of the magical things about chariot. she always looked amazing no matter what she was in. levi tended to stick with a lot of the same types and styles of clothing for various reasons, so seeing someone who could experiment so freely and come out looking beautiful every time was like a spectacular performance all its own. they stepped away from the door and ushered chariot in, closing it behind her.]
I just got notice that the Daitengu wants to meet with me personally—tomorrow. I don't know what it could be about. [despite the way that they approached the sentence, they could feel their heart taking the news a little more harshly. when they pulled themself against chariot into a tight hug, they knew she could likely feel it, too.]
[ She hadn't expected the immediate hug but... she didn't turn it away, either, letting herself melt into that embrace, her hair shifting as she did so, now that the door was closed behind her.
Things had been stressful... they both needed this. ]
I have. They're... an unusual person, to say the least, but our meeting was really pleasant. Honestly, all they wanted was apparently just to hear me go on and on about the stars...
[ She pulled back just enough to let her forehead rest against Levi's, still in that embrace. ]
[they said it softly because they didn't have the need to put on a mask. they didn't have to impress anyone. they just had their chariot in their arms, her red hair on display and making her look wonderful in her freedom.]
It would be a good thing, then, you think. [it eased their worries to say it out loud, even with their eyes closing again for just a little longer.] Maybe it's something about my own abilities. What... how did they help you with your magic?
Without me telling them, they figured out I drew most of my mana from the stars...
[ Which was impressive in its own right, given that was not orthodox magic where she came from, using the cosmos itself as a giant ley line for her own purposes. She had the Shiny Rod to thank for being able to do that at all, of course, but... ]
And just by talking through it with them, I realized some of my magic had returned...
[they slid their hands down chariot's arms and into her hands, then opened their eyes again without pulling back. onto their face crept a playful little smile, as though they thought they were asking for something illegal.]
[ A smile that Chariot, at least in the confines of that apartment, in the arms of someone she trusted, could easily return. She reached into her bag to pull out her wand, pulling back out of Levi's grip to give herself a bit of space...
A verdant glow bloomed from the forked tip of the wand, with Chariot whispering an incantation at high speed, almost lost, before gesturing with the wand. And soon enough, the light in the room changed completely...
Darkness fell over the apartment at first, draining away everything from the fluorescent ceiling bulb, but illumination returned instead in the form of a brilliant blanket of stars forming over their heads, streaking across an illusory sky, one that surrounded them rather than simply say above. ]
[a magic wand seemed a little on the nose, but levi wasn't the witch here, so they kept their mouth shut. and when it brought such a result, they knew it would've been foolish to try to say anything smart about it. not that they could find the words to begin with —not when they saw what chariot had done for the two of them.]
[the stars glittered in one of levi's eyes as they looked around the room, up and to the left and right like someone had set off a projector coming from chariot's body. they tilted their head up one more time and kept it there with their mouth hanging just slightly open.]
Chariot du Nord... [words failed the adoration dripping from their lips in each syllable of her name.] This is... this is beautiful.
I can't do too much without resting, but... It's at least a glimpse, into something amazing...
[ Chariot's smile softened further, witnessing the awe in Leviathan's eyes, and the reflected sparkle of the heavenly artifice. It was never not something that made her heart drum, the way people looked, the joy in their faces, at witnessing the marvels of magic. It was what drove her for so long... just populating that joy into audiences night after night.
But... especially in one she'd grown to care about so much. And in turn, that mix of nostalgia and novel bliss...
Chariot hadn't realized it. But once more, after so long... she was "shining", again, herself. ]
What's beautiful... is seeing your reaction to all of it, really.
[they felt their whole face go warm at such a simple comment, and knew that their skin was matching in color. it almost made them feel unworthy of chariot's grace, but maybe that wasn't anything that really mattered, in the end. being worthy of something or not didn't change that they were receiving it.]
You're flattering me. [it's not much better than just accepting the kindness.] You created the stars... and you created them for me. I don't know how else to react.
[they pull away just slightly and hold their palm up, facing the ceiling. with no small amount of concentration, they bring a contained ball of buzzing, blue electricity to existence in the palm of their ungloved hand. it looks unstable, like they don't know how to or otherwise can't force it to keep its shape, and after a short moment, it fizzles into the magic surrounding them.]
I can take something from the sky and bring it here. But you can do so much more than I could ever imagine, Chariot. I don't know how else to look.
It's not about who can do what... real magic is in the heart itself, what someone who has faith can do with it. "A believing heart, that is your magic"...
[ It wasn't just a tagline she ended her shows with. It was an honest and true philosophy, one that she still kept even through all the hurt, pain, and guilt she'd carried over those ten years. She'd seen its fruition so many times through Akko... even if she still had her own shame to carry about that girl.
She stepped back towards Levi, reaching a hand for their cheek, stroking gently with her thumb. ]
It's your magic, too... That you see in me something worth all the affection and care you've given me.
[they were really at a loss for words. their palm felt warm from the lightning, but their heart stood at ease—or at least, beating no harder than it otherwise might have, given their closeness and the touch of chariot's hand to their face. they felt warm all over, really, but not for bad reasons in the slightest.]
It's so easy. It's so easy to see these things in you, and I'll be here with you until you can see them, too. And long after, if you'll have me.
[if their magic was little more than kindness, maybe they could embrace it all the same. maybe they could embrace it in every touch, every kiss, everything, whatever that ended up being. they put each of their hands on chariot's cheeks, fingers reaching back into her hair, thumbs not yet daring to brush against her cheekbones.]
[ It had taken her awhile to get to this point, to thinking she even deserved any of this. She still questioned it, in the darker parts of her soul. But in this moment, dancing formlessly amongst a tapestry of astral bodies, their own shining like the stars she coveted so much...
She could really accept it. All of Levi's affection and adoration. And let her own be effusive, in turn. ]
To be wanted by you... has already helped me so much...
I don't know how anyone couldn't want you. You're kind, you have such a sweet laugh, you have such passion for what you care for... [levi brought one hand up into chariot's hair and brushed it back tenderly, and they just smiled at her as their hand resettled where it had come from.]
You're gorgeous, too. And I can't thank you enough for showing this part of yourself to me. [one day, they thought, they would learn about what chariot was hiding. but it would be forever at her own pace, always, every time.]
I count myself lucky to be where I am. In the middle of our own personal galaxy.
[ If they had been anywhere else, she likely would have wilted into the dirt from Levi's unabashed praise, but she finds herself taking it in, letting it warm her further, letting herself bloom within it, "shine" even more.
Certainly there were parts of her she still hadn't shared with Levi. And they did deserve to know. And she'd get there, hopefully. It all felt... possible, in that moment. That Leviathan wouldn't look at Chariot with the same cold eyes she regarded her own self with, a times... but old her, keep her afloat, and maybe someday... clear away that darkness.
Maybe... it felt nice to dream about it. ]
Levi... [ She took in a slow, steady breath, just drinking in the other's presence, her words, the physical and metaphysical blending into one. ]
I... I want you to kiss me... To do anything you wish... I want to get lost in your affection... if only for tonight...
[they looked surprised at the request, and they felt their heart jump into their throat. their eyes widened. they'd expected to run into this problem, but not for... not for a long time. this was a lot. their hands stopped cupping chariot's face, holding it only a little looser, but they didn't want to pull away entirely. they just weren't a fool; they knew what people meant when they said things like that.]
[they'd heard it from yang more than enough times, though not in exactly those words.]
[they breathed in, shaky and uncertain.]
Do you remember when I said that there were going to be some things I didn't think I could give you...? [they felt their shoulders tensing and wished, very quietly, that they were anywhere else in the galaxy.] I think... I'm sorry. I think what you're asking for might be one of them.
[ Honestly, it was Levi's reminder that found Chariot's own nerves, jerking her back like reigns, and her face went so red she might be mistaken for a tomato. She shook her head immediately, raising a hand as if in defense, palm open and out. ]
N-no, I don't-! I don't mean, l-like that, I was just... b-being poeiticohmygoshI'msosorry!
[ She shook her head again, and then just... sort of buried herself in Levi's shoulder, screaming. The break in her reverie also broke the spell, the natural state of Levi's apartment fading back into light, the illusion falling away. ]
I-I just... wanted you to hold me, to do whatever you liked, I definitely didn't mean to ask that of you, I'm so sorry!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I've been waiting for the right time.
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I know it's difficult. I want to make sure you have time.
It's a lot of information to process and I won't force you.
But I would feel a little uncomfortable coming over to make out with you more if she doesn't know about it.
[they sit there thinking through what they'd just said, and with the phone-dropping urgency know only to several breeds of anime protagonist, they hastily type out a correction.]
Um, that is. About us. Not specifically about what we do together.
no subject
Is that what's on your mind right now? I think we could both use a little stress relief.
no subject
It isn't... not on my mind.
But that might be because there's a lot of things happening very quickly right now and it isn't doing fantastic things for my anxiety.
And being near you helps me calm down better than anything else around here has.
Is it okay for me to come over?
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[ Certainly, she was doing it because she wanted the privacy her own apartment couldn't afford her, any longer, but it wasn't just being done to avoid the topic of Croix or the reality of her living with Chariot.
She also just... really wanted that privacy. ]
I can bring some wine, and we can relax together. However we like.
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Of course. Of course you can.
[they look around, and there's not much cleaning that actually needs to be done, which is merciful because they're both working with the same amount of space for the moment.]
You're going to be a bad influence on me, Chariot.
Getting me to drink wine so regularly.
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I'll be over soon.
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[it's while they're waiting for chariot to arrive that they receive a request that they hadn't been expecting. it's enough that when the woman they're waiting on does get there, it takes them a moment just to answer the door. (they're in as casual an outfit as they get, the ribbed black shirt and torn jeans, and they've configured their small apartment to look very similar to chariot's.) they're looking down at their phone when they open the door, and only look up after another moment to greet her with a smile.]
My Chariot, you must have the most incredible sense of timing in the world.
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There were a lot more reasons she couldn't.Either way, she took in a breath, her smile warming, adjusting her bag over her shoulder and just... ]
Is it good timing or just serendipity? Or maybe the stars...
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I just got notice that the Daitengu wants to meet with me personally—tomorrow. I don't know what it could be about. [despite the way that they approached the sentence, they could feel their heart taking the news a little more harshly. when they pulled themself against chariot into a tight hug, they knew she could likely feel it, too.]
Have you met with them about anything yet?
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Things had been stressful... they both needed this. ]
I have. They're... an unusual person, to say the least, but our meeting was really pleasant. Honestly, all they wanted was apparently just to hear me go on and on about the stars...
[ She pulled back just enough to let her forehead rest against Levi's, still in that embrace. ]
They helped me find my magic again..
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[they said it softly because they didn't have the need to put on a mask. they didn't have to impress anyone. they just had their chariot in their arms, her red hair on display and making her look wonderful in her freedom.]
It would be a good thing, then, you think. [it eased their worries to say it out loud, even with their eyes closing again for just a little longer.] Maybe it's something about my own abilities. What... how did they help you with your magic?
no subject
[ Which was impressive in its own right, given that was not orthodox magic where she came from, using the cosmos itself as a giant ley line for her own purposes. She had the Shiny Rod to thank for being able to do that at all, of course, but... ]
And just by talking through it with them, I realized some of my magic had returned...
no subject
[they slid their hands down chariot's arms and into her hands, then opened their eyes again without pulling back. onto their face crept a playful little smile, as though they thought they were asking for something illegal.]
Can you show me?
no subject
A verdant glow bloomed from the forked tip of the wand, with Chariot whispering an incantation at high speed, almost lost, before gesturing with the wand. And soon enough, the light in the room changed completely...
Darkness fell over the apartment at first, draining away everything from the fluorescent ceiling bulb, but illumination returned instead in the form of a brilliant blanket of stars forming over their heads, streaking across an illusory sky, one that surrounded them rather than simply say above. ]
no subject
[the stars glittered in one of levi's eyes as they looked around the room, up and to the left and right like someone had set off a projector coming from chariot's body. they tilted their head up one more time and kept it there with their mouth hanging just slightly open.]
Chariot du Nord... [words failed the adoration dripping from their lips in each syllable of her name.] This is... this is beautiful.
no subject
[ Chariot's smile softened further, witnessing the awe in Leviathan's eyes, and the reflected sparkle of the heavenly artifice. It was never not something that made her heart drum, the way people looked, the joy in their faces, at witnessing the marvels of magic. It was what drove her for so long... just populating that joy into audiences night after night.
But... especially in one she'd grown to care about so much. And in turn, that mix of nostalgia and novel bliss...
Chariot hadn't realized it. But once more, after so long... she was "shining", again, herself. ]
What's beautiful... is seeing your reaction to all of it, really.
no subject
You're flattering me. [it's not much better than just accepting the kindness.] You created the stars... and you created them for me. I don't know how else to react.
[they pull away just slightly and hold their palm up, facing the ceiling. with no small amount of concentration, they bring a contained ball of buzzing, blue electricity to existence in the palm of their ungloved hand. it looks unstable, like they don't know how to or otherwise can't force it to keep its shape, and after a short moment, it fizzles into the magic surrounding them.]
I can take something from the sky and bring it here. But you can do so much more than I could ever imagine, Chariot. I don't know how else to look.
no subject
[ It wasn't just a tagline she ended her shows with. It was an honest and true philosophy, one that she still kept even through all the hurt, pain, and guilt she'd carried over those ten years. She'd seen its fruition so many times through Akko... even if she still had her own shame to carry about that girl.
She stepped back towards Levi, reaching a hand for their cheek, stroking gently with her thumb. ]
It's your magic, too... That you see in me something worth all the affection and care you've given me.
no subject
[they were really at a loss for words. their palm felt warm from the lightning, but their heart stood at ease—or at least, beating no harder than it otherwise might have, given their closeness and the touch of chariot's hand to their face. they felt warm all over, really, but not for bad reasons in the slightest.]
It's so easy. It's so easy to see these things in you, and I'll be here with you until you can see them, too. And long after, if you'll have me.
[if their magic was little more than kindness, maybe they could embrace it all the same. maybe they could embrace it in every touch, every kiss, everything, whatever that ended up being. they put each of their hands on chariot's cheeks, fingers reaching back into her hair, thumbs not yet daring to brush against her cheekbones.]
no subject
[ It had taken her awhile to get to this point, to thinking she even deserved any of this. She still questioned it, in the darker parts of her soul. But in this moment, dancing formlessly amongst a tapestry of astral bodies, their own shining like the stars she coveted so much...
She could really accept it. All of Levi's affection and adoration. And let her own be effusive, in turn. ]
To be wanted by you... has already helped me so much...
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You're gorgeous, too. And I can't thank you enough for showing this part of yourself to me. [one day, they thought, they would learn about what chariot was hiding. but it would be forever at her own pace, always, every time.]
I count myself lucky to be where I am. In the middle of our own personal galaxy.
no subject
Certainly there were parts of her she still hadn't shared with Levi. And they did deserve to know. And she'd get there, hopefully. It all felt... possible, in that moment. That Leviathan wouldn't look at Chariot with the same cold eyes she regarded her own self with, a times... but old her, keep her afloat, and maybe someday... clear away that darkness.
Maybe... it felt nice to dream about it. ]
Levi... [ She took in a slow, steady breath, just drinking in the other's presence, her words, the physical and metaphysical blending into one. ]
I... I want you to kiss me... To do anything you wish... I want to get lost in your affection... if only for tonight...
no subject
[they'd heard it from yang more than enough times, though not in exactly those words.]
[they breathed in, shaky and uncertain.]
Do you remember when I said that there were going to be some things I didn't think I could give you...? [they felt their shoulders tensing and wished, very quietly, that they were anywhere else in the galaxy.] I think... I'm sorry. I think what you're asking for might be one of them.
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N-no, I don't-! I don't mean, l-like that, I was just... b-being poeiticohmygoshI'msosorry!
[ She shook her head again, and then just... sort of buried herself in Levi's shoulder, screaming. The break in her reverie also broke the spell, the natural state of Levi's apartment fading back into light, the illusion falling away. ]
I-I just... wanted you to hold me, to do whatever you liked, I definitely didn't mean to ask that of you, I'm so sorry!
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